I posted a picture of me at the theatre gala. I received plenty of compliments that night but when I saw pictures posted to facebook, I must admit I was upset. I looked about 40 lbs. heavier than I thought I was. I'm completely onboard the with the plus size movement and the understanding that just because one eats a healthy diet and exercises regularly does not mean they will be society's definition of skinny. At the same time I feel it is important to take care of yourself. I don't believe in starving yourself or punishing your body for being different. I loved last weeks episode of Glee when Quinn had a heart to heart with Mercedes. She explained that eating for someone else changed her relationship with food. She realized that if she was willing to eat to take care of her child, she should take the same care in feeding herself. I thought "Damn straight!" When I saw those pictures though, I realized I hadn't been practicing what I preach.
For the past year or so I've been focused on my career and my future. I've thought, no I'm not exercising as much as I should be but I have other priorities right now. Why would my health not be my TOP PRIORITY!? I've been feeling like I have to earn that. I can get a gym membership when I'm making enough money. Or sure I'll eat organic when I become successful but for now it's frozen veggies for me. We've talked about my money issues on this blog before and that definitely plays into it. I don't have a good sense of what is a frivolous expense and what is worthwhile.
I admit that my vanity was hurt first when I saw those pictures but my appearance is not as important as my health and my health is not frivolous! I had a talk with my parents both about my health and money anxieties and they reassured me that I don't need to worry about my expenses as much as I do. We all agree that getting more exercise will probably help the anxiety and if I feel guilty about purchasing something I'll run it by my parents. Aren't parents wonderful.
So I joined a gym that I've had a crush on for a while. I know one of the yoga instructors. All of the classes are complimentary drop-in, there's a pool, and it's $40/month. It's called Om Lifestyle and Wellness. It has a totally chill, tranquil environment and is much less intimidating than most gyms I've been to. Tomorrow morning I'm going to attempt to go for a swim before work. This means waking up at 6:30am on a day that I work until midnight but it's the only time I have to exercise.
I also downloaded a new app for my iPod Touch. It's called Lose It! I'm less interested in dieting than I am in just monitoring my calories and exercise. This app does it. You enter your current stats and set a goal between maintaining your weight and losing 2lbs a week. Then it gives you a recommended calorie intake. You enter your meals and exercise, this database has everything, and it will help you track. It will even track nutrients like protein and fats. I've enjoyed using it so far. It makes it easy and I haven't felt hungry on my recommended calorie budget so I think it's a healthy system as well.
Here's to putting myself first!
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